逆ムックの日
Happy Reverse Mucc Day~!
Work's getting to me real bad... I have to consciously tell myself everyday the reason why I chose this job... yes, it's that bad.
If I pinpoint the exact things that are getting to me:
1) yes, that black-faced girl. the sweeping statements that she makes irk me, but i don't say anything of course. but somehow she's just got something against me and refuses to acknowledge my presence. how rude! like, i'll say goodbye to everyone and she just ignores me. or, in the meeting, i just ask a question to someone else, and she's all out to humiliate me by answering in a "duh, don't you know?" kinda tone. yes! she's just refuses to greet me even if i bump into her in the corridor! and the worst thing is she bloody sits behind me and makes a lot of noise all day long. she's also pally with everyone else in the team, so god knows what she's happening behind my back.
but, i'm really not someone who forces myself on other people. i'm not the kind of person who will barge myself into conversations just so that i'm in the 'in' crowd, u'know? so i'm so not myself at work. there was even one day when i spoke less than 2 sentences!!! something i can't even imagine myself doing at my previous jobs!!! i'm not myself anymore!!!
2) people's perception that i'm technically weak. i mean, i don't deny that i'm not very strong technically and that's the reason why i'm here - to learn. but i'm no freshie either and i've seen my work compared to some other colleagues, and hey, i don't think i'm far off at all. but, because of other people's perception of my capabilities, my work gets criticized at places where i don't think is that crucial at all! that's when i realize that even at technical areas, there are many issues that need judgement, a judgement that need not be backed by technical evidence but just an opinion, and if you give people the impression that you know, you get your judgement across, but if you don't give people that impression, it doesn't matter what you say, the default is for people to think you are wrong.
from a position where i was in charge of things, running things, advising people, to a position now where i'm being doubted, i'm feeling it really hard.
3) work allocation. i think the best way to learn is to work. i'm not getting the meaty projects. probably related to points 1) and 2).
i'm seriously at an all-time low at work...
Work's getting to me real bad... I have to consciously tell myself everyday the reason why I chose this job... yes, it's that bad.
If I pinpoint the exact things that are getting to me:
1) yes, that black-faced girl. the sweeping statements that she makes irk me, but i don't say anything of course. but somehow she's just got something against me and refuses to acknowledge my presence. how rude! like, i'll say goodbye to everyone and she just ignores me. or, in the meeting, i just ask a question to someone else, and she's all out to humiliate me by answering in a "duh, don't you know?" kinda tone. yes! she's just refuses to greet me even if i bump into her in the corridor! and the worst thing is she bloody sits behind me and makes a lot of noise all day long. she's also pally with everyone else in the team, so god knows what she's happening behind my back.
but, i'm really not someone who forces myself on other people. i'm not the kind of person who will barge myself into conversations just so that i'm in the 'in' crowd, u'know? so i'm so not myself at work. there was even one day when i spoke less than 2 sentences!!! something i can't even imagine myself doing at my previous jobs!!! i'm not myself anymore!!!
2) people's perception that i'm technically weak. i mean, i don't deny that i'm not very strong technically and that's the reason why i'm here - to learn. but i'm no freshie either and i've seen my work compared to some other colleagues, and hey, i don't think i'm far off at all. but, because of other people's perception of my capabilities, my work gets criticized at places where i don't think is that crucial at all! that's when i realize that even at technical areas, there are many issues that need judgement, a judgement that need not be backed by technical evidence but just an opinion, and if you give people the impression that you know, you get your judgement across, but if you don't give people that impression, it doesn't matter what you say, the default is for people to think you are wrong.
from a position where i was in charge of things, running things, advising people, to a position now where i'm being doubted, i'm feeling it really hard.
3) work allocation. i think the best way to learn is to work. i'm not getting the meaty projects. probably related to points 1) and 2).
i'm seriously at an all-time low at work...
posted by scenic at 11:58 PM
